Get all 10 Romanovsky & Phillips releases available on Bandcamp and save 40%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Turn Up the Fun!, Pittsburgh to Paris, It's A Boy! (a circus opera), Let's Flaunt It!, Brave Boys, Hopeful Romantic, Be Political Not Polite, Emotional Rollercoaster, and 2 more.
1. |
Stuff is Falling
02:45
|
|||
|
Something's always falling down on me
My apartment is a room
A room with very little room
So I hang things up
All around me
I stack them up
And all day long they tumble down
There's something always falling
Stuff is falling
Something's always falling down on me
Something's always falling down on me
It’s thought to be that gravity
Is generally agood thing
But I imagine
Aworld without it
Where you wouldn't need hooks
Or shelves for books or even string
Some folks got great big houses
Full of useless stuff
Me I ain't got nothing and yet still I got too much
Gonna give it all to the nearest charity
Live a little bit like Saint Francis
Happy, poor and free
|
||||
2. |
||||
|
On the day the homos disappear
Life won't be the same without the queers
You may have your evening all arranged
But all the plans you made will have to change
'Cause every decent restaurant will be closed
'Cause almost every waiter never showed
No! There won't be an awful lot to do
And every play on Broadway will shut down
’Cause hardly any actors can be found
On the day the homos are removed
On the day the homos disappear
Their participation will be clear
When you go to work you may despair
'Cause there's an empty secretary's chair
So you won't get your words processed today
'Cause everybody on your staff is gay
Yes! Might as well stay home and mow the lawn
And if you have to cash a check you'll see
Where there were seven tellers, now there’s three
On the day the homos are all gone
On the day the homos disappear
That vacation you have planned all year
Will be cancelled right before your eyes
When the travel industry is paralyzed
Flight attendants vanish overnight
Travel agents missing left and right
No! It won’t be a good day to leave town
While service at the best hotels is nixed
You'll be better off staying at a Motel 6
On the day the homos aren't around
You'd expect to lose your florist
And your hairdresser, too
But what about those other several million normal people
Who are gone without a clue?
They must have taken tons of hostages along
’Cause at least ten percent of the population's gone!
On the day the homos disappear
You're gonna learn how much you need them here
When you take your kids to school at eight
Might find out their teacher wasn't straight
And if they need a doctor's care
There's a chance that no one will be there
Yes! Life is gonna be extremely weird
And if the country happened to be at war
Well there wouldn't be the troops there were before
On the day the homos disappear
|
||||
3. |
Socks and Underwear
03:26
|
|||
|
Woke up on a cloudy day
My thoughts ran straight to you
Feeling so uncertain
I didn’t have aclue
Well I had to go to K-mart
But I ended up at Sears
And there in the men's department
Was a sign that made it all so clear
It said
Socks, socks and underwear
And I had a sudden urge to buy you
Several dozen pair
I want to be the guy who buys you
Socks and underwear
Won't say I will wash them
Or hang them out to dry
Won't say I will fold them
'Cause that would be a lie
But I will say that I’d like to share
More than just your bed
And I knew it in the moment
When I saw the sign that read
It said
Socks, socks and underwear
Now what could be a better way
To show you that I care
Than to be the guy who buys you
Socks and underwear
And it wasn’t an impulse
Brought on by a clearance sale
And it wasn't inspired
By the cast of International Male
It was just an insight that I stumbled on by chance
'Cause love's a thousand simple acts
Like buying underpants...and socks!
Socks, socks and underwear
As long as I'm around
You'll never be without a spare pair of
Socks, socks and underwear
And when I shop for undergarments
Love will lead me there
I want to be the guy who buys you
Socks and underwear
Underwear and socks
|
||||
4. |
Fighting for Peace
02:30
|
|||
|
Fighting for peace is like loving to hate
Like spending to save, or eating to lose weight
Believing in limits, while preaching infinity
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
We say we want peace, but we act like we don't
Talk of a cease fire, will we or won't we
Can't have your cake and be eating it too
We’ve got some growing up to do
You cannot prevent and prepare for war
The thoughts that you send out
are what you'll get more of
Cannot move on if you like being stuck
Can't run away when you've run out of luck
What If the problem is simply in our perception?
How can we find the right answer
If we're always asking the wrong question?
|
||||
5. |
She's Not Unhappy
03:24
|
|||
|
She's not unhappy
I wouldn't say she's sad
She’s not disappointed or mad
She’s her own woman
She’s a modern wife
There’s nothing really wrong with her life
But sometimes, on a warm summer night
When the moon and the stars cast a silvery light
She drives up and down the long boulevard
And feels the slightest aching in her heart
He treats her with kindness
More often than not
But it’s years since the fire has been hot
It's a life tailor-made
It has no visible seams
'She's been faithful, except in her dreams
And sometimes, in the cold pouring rain
She sits back and sips on a glass of champagne
And she dreams of a man who could give her such bliss
With poetry and flowers and a kiss
Some things you just keep to yourself
'Til they’re faded and dusty like books on a shelf
But you leaf through the pages each now and then
And you rewrite the endings again... and again
Sometimes, when the workday's too much
She comforts a heart that has hardly been touched
Then she smiles and sheds a tear
for the choices she’s made
And silently, she lets her discontentment fade
|
||||
6. |
The Sanctity of Marriage
02:57
|
|||
|
In order to protect the sanctity of marriage
Is it enough to keep the queers from getting hitched?
Stopping there just puts the proverbial horse behind the carriage
Why not attack the problem at its very source
It’s time to outlaw divorce!
That’s right, if we can’t get married
You can’t get divorced!
If gay people can't tie the knot
Straight folks have got
To stay together 'til death do them part
No matter how miserable they are!
No more celebrities like Elizabeth Taylor
With more ex-husbands than anyone can recall
No more annulments coming from the church of Rome
No more divorce attorneys getting very rich
No more relief from the seven-year itch
Because jf we can’t get married
You can't get divorced
If gay people can’t tie the knot
Straight folks have got
To stay together if only for the kids
No matter how bad their marriage is
You’ll say your vows
They’ll throw some rice
All dressed up
And looking nice
And now guess what
You’re stuck for life!
Woman and husband
Man and wife
Protect the sanctity of holy matrimony
Amend the constitution
To reflect this little change
No more second chances, no more alimony
If marriage needs defending as they claim
I know exactly who's to blame
And so if we can't get married
You can't get divorced
If gay people can’t tie the knot
Straight folks have got
To stay together whatever it takes
The sanctity of marriage is at stake!
|
||||
7. |
Raccoons in the Volvo
02:56
|
|||
|
You’ve heard of bats in the belfry
And snakes in the grass
We got somethin's gonna kick your ass
We got 'coons
Raccoons in the Volvo
We got some hungry little animals
Eating bacon and eggs
Now they don't care if they're scrambled
They don’t care if they're poached
They got the munchies
They been smokin' a roach
Those 'coons
Raccoons in the Volvo
We got some hungry little animals
Eating bacon and eggs
They didn’t take the coffee
Didn't take the cake
They left the cigarettes and protein shakes
Those 'coons
Raccoons in the Volvo
We got some hungry little animals
Eating bacon and eggs
Well that Regan’s no dummy
You can't fool her twice
She bought a foolproof anti-raccoon device
For the 'coons
Raccoons in the Volvo
Yeah we got hungry little animals
Eating all of our breakfast
Yeah we got bats in the belfry
We got snakes in the grass
And we got somethin’s gonna kick your butt
We got 'coons
We got raccoons in the Volvo
We got some hungry little animals
Eating bacon and eggs
Yeah we got hungry little animals
Well they’re eating all our bacon
And they're eating all of our eggs
|
||||
8. |
||||
|
Cyndi and Laura are looking for a
Handsome-looking guy
For a special kind of booking
So that they can multiply
It's hard to find the perfect man
It's harder still to ask
If he'd consider doing one specific manly task
'Cause they're not husband-hunting
They're not looking for a date
They just need a willing fellow who can procreate
They want to have a baby
They’d like it to be cute
Won't take a chance on maybe
For that certain attribute
David and Louie are interviewing
For the woman of their dreams
It’s what they've dreamed of doing
And at last they have the means
They need a female who has talent
A masters or a PhD
But most of all she's got to have
The coming nine months free
'Cause they don't want at three-way
They're not looking for a friend
They need a little lee-way
With a womb that she can lend
They want to have a child
A toddler who excels
They'd like a kid with style
To be a nice reflection of themselves
They could have gone to the bank
(They couldn't adopt)
That's there for the cause
(With legal consent)
But who would they thank
(And so they had to opt)
For the oohs and the ahs
(For a mom they could rent)
They could have made a withdrawl
(But even if they could)
Done it that way
(Well that can be hard)
But who would they call
(On Mother's Day)
On Father's Day
(Where do you send the card?)
Meg is debating the need for mating
She doesn't buy the hype
She's sick and tired of dating
But her ovaries are ripe
She doesn’t want a wedding ring
She doesn’t need a spouse
She only wants to hear the sound
Of little feet around the house
She’s given up on romance
She’s tired of broken dreams
She wants to get in someone’s pants
But only for his genes
She wants to have a family
She really wants a kid
She needs somebody manly
To come and go like all the others did
|
||||
9. |
Turn Up the Fun!
05:12
|
|||
10. |
Five Holes
03:00
|
|||
|
Five holes in the head
Everybody got
Five holes in the head
You got your two big ears
You got your great big mouth
Well that's three right there
You got your nose that counts for two Ithink that's only fair
Everybody got
Five holes In the head
It's something that you
But some folks, you would swear They got six
'Cause they're dumb as dirt
Or a box of hair
An untied shoe
Or a folding chair
Dumb as a haystack
No needle inside
Dumb as a drunk
On the fourth of July
Like the dunce who sits
In Washington
With an empty head
And a loaded gun
Dumb as the scarecrow
Who wanted a brain
Not enough sense
To come out of the rain
One bottle short of a six-pack
The lights are all on, no one's home
One sandwich short of a picnic
The elevator don't go to the top
|
||||
11. |
Women of Fire
04:10
|
|||
|
Thanks to you
Strong, older sister
You were so brave and open-hearted
So free and so unguarded
You helped me to get started
To explore a path uncharted
And to do what I had to do
For your aesthetics guiding me
Encouraging the pride in me
Nurturing and chiding
The creative muse inside of me
To follow my own truth... I thank you
Oh, it's the men Ilove to chase
I get lost in the embrace
Of every handsome face that comes along
But it's the women full of fire
Who keep me climbing higher
Who constantly inspire me to be strong
And thanks to you
Bold, red-haired singer
All your songs of liberation
Your love and inspiration
Gave to me the motivation
To find my own salvation
And a place to fit into
For music that delighted me
Ideas that excited me
A passion that ignited me
Unknowingly inciting me
To make a dream come true... I thank you
And I will stand beside you
Cheer you on as you go marching
Watch you as you fly
I will join the battle
Against the ones who want to put
A ceiling on your sky
All you friends and teachers
You climbers and you reachers
You gentle loving creatures
I won’t sit in the bleachers
Not as long as I have you
You are the hope of humanity
Relief from the insanity
You are my chosen family
You keep me from abandoning
The faith that pulls me through... and I need you
And I will stand beside you
You women full of fire
You keep me climbing higher
You constantly inspire me
|
||||
12. |
||||
|
The donkey and the elephant
Don't really get along
One thinks that gay is not so bad
The other says it’s wrong
But still there are some elephants
Who happen to be gay
Now why are they surprised
When all the others back away?
What part of we don't want you
Don't they understand?
And in the military
You don’t tell and they don't ask
A macho institution
That can really kick your ass
But there are those among us
Who demand to serve and fight
For a country that don't give a shit
About their human rights
What part of we don’t want you
Don’t they understand?
Why do they keep on clinging
To such a hateful clan?
And then you have the Vatican
With old pope what’s-his-name
With his pontifications
Always preaching fear and shame
But that don't stop some homos
From filling up the pews
Like trying to crash a party
That they weren't invited to
What part of we don't want you
Don’t they understand?
Why do they keep on clinging
To such a hateful clan?
They'll be banging on doors 'til the seas run dry
Well me I ain't no genius
But I sure can tell you this
If you always get a slap
Then you should not expect a kiss
If you always take a bullet
Don't expect to get a handshake
Don't be a Jew for Hitler
For Christ's sake
What part of we don’t want
Don't they understand?
Why do they keep on clinging
To such a hateful clan?
They’ll be banging on doors 'til the seas run dry
And I will never understand why
|
||||
13. |
||||
|
There's Prozac and Paxil and Nardil and Vallum
Xanax and Zoloft, and Elavil and Lithium
There's Celexa and Lexipro, but for faster relief
Why not try dancing yourself out of grief?
Allow me to make a suggestion
Employ it at your own discretion
If you can't get out of bed
If you wish that you were dead
Try doing the polka today
A little Lawrence Welk can go along, long way
Oh, your name doesn't have to be Stanley
Or Yosh, or something more manly
Don't worry, don't panic
'Cause soon you’ll be manic
Let these words of hope be your creed
A little Frankie Yankovic is all you need
To do the anti-depressant polka
And dance your way out of despair
It's more than a silly ol' two-step
It's alternative mental health care!
At times I think my head could split
From depression that just won't quit
Therapy and drugs, I dismiss with a shrug
You could spend all your money
And still feel like shit
Here in a country where only the rich
Can really afford to be sick
The rest of us slobs who work hard at our Jobs
We have to be creative when it comes to this...oh!
You don't have to wear a babushka
To ask yourself, 'who stole the kishka?'
Wear any apparel to roll out the barrel
As long as you do it with glee
A little Myron Floren's gonna set you free
|
||||
14. |
When the Sky is Grey
03:14
|
|||
|
It's another foggy morning in the city by the bay
The air is damp and chilly
And the sky is painted grey
So hard to remember that the sun is shining bright
Beyond this gloomy patch of fog
Even on a cloudy day or in the darkest night
And it's so hard to remember
On a day just like today
That the sun's still shining
When the sky is grey
Wake up in the morning feeling lonely, sad and small
Wondering how I'll ever find the courage to stand tall
So hard to remember that I still have love to give
And chances are, tomorrow I'll regain
My strength of spirit and my will to live
Oh the clouds roll in
And the storm brings rain
And it seems like it’s never going to end
But love will win
Over all the pain
And you will know the warmth of the sun again
Wake up from dreaming
That the battles have been won
To find the harsh reality
That it seems they’ve just begun
So hard to remember that we've had our victories
And know that we’ll have many more
As we pave the road of peace, changing history
|
||||
Romanovsky & Phillips Santa Fe, New Mexico
Romanovsky & Phillips were the first “out and proud” American gay male musical duo to
achieve national
acclaim. From 1982-1999, an era when gay artists often hid their sexual orientation, this duo performed songs which openly celebrated their lives as gay men.
With tight harmonies and memorable melodies, their sassy and inspired songs uniquely capture the gay experience of those decades.
... more
If you like Turn Up the Fun!, you may also like:
she/her/they/them
by Evan Greer
The singer-songwriter and activist considers the very purposes of protest songs.
go to album
An album of grief, hope, and transformation from indie rock/folk artist al Riggs that soars on melancholic melody and thoughtful lyrics.
go to album
Plangent and delicate songs, Americana in the Jason Molina mold, reflecting on mental health and sexuality.
go to album
earth to ursa major
by jordaan mason
Delicate, plangent indie rock from this Toronto singer-songwriter, who here explores the many aspects of depression.
go to album
Big, emotive pop songs with expansive instrumentation and heartrending vocals.
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Apr 30, 2024
go to album
The Toronto-based sextet make moody, cinematic sounding music that blends psych-folk and post-rock.
go to album
