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Emotional Rollercoaster

by Romanovsky & Phillips

/
1.
Today I took the nudes down off of the wall Ten minutes after I received her telephone call She'll be here Friday morning so there's not much time to clean Better hide the Advocate and the Mandate magazine We'll redecorate the guest room so it looks like it's been used Separate our wardrobes or she'll really be confused Then get ready for a lonely week of sleeping on the couch We're straightening up the house Tomorrow I will put away your gay pride shirts And our Halloween assortment of jewelry, pumps and skirts Then pack up all the books by Quentin Crisp and Rita Mae And the His 'n His towels that you bought me yesterday And you'd better hide the albums by that lesbian group She has no ear for music, but she has been known to snoop And remember not to kiss me, just forget you're my spouse Straightening up the house The snapshots of the two of us in Spain will have to go Don't tell me this is totally insane because I know And I cannot wear the wristwatch with our names engraved in gold The one that says "I love you, John" with all my heart and soul This is our first Christmas here in our new home In a hostile world it's our only safety zone I never should have promised I'd continue with this lie But Dad was so certain if she found out she would die But if it's killing anyone, I think it's killing me 'Cause it tears me up inside to hide my true identity And asking you to help me makes me feel like such a louse I'm thirty-two years old, why am I acting like a mouse? I'm a man and he's my lover If she freaks out, she'll recover C'mon and help me... to just CLEAN the house!
2.
Life with you's an endless playground So many games from which to choose But it don't fill me with childish joy It only brings me the blues I used to think stability would only make us dull But your moods are so erratic that I'd welcome such a lull And I don't know how much of this my fragile heart can take I'm not as strong as you may think, and one day I could break Ah... Because you've got me on an Emotional Rollercoaster You lift me up, you bring me down And all the time my heart is spinning round and round and round But it still feels better than being alone on the ground Life with you is never boring It's more like Disneyland Though the thrills are only momentary Oh you could never call it bland One day you say you love me and your passion rings so true And the next day you ignore me or you tell me that we're through Each time I think you're gone for good, but you keep coming back I cannot take much more of this before I'm gonna crack Ah... Because you've got me on an Emotional Rollercoaster You lift me up, you bring me down And all because you're drooling over some new boy you've found But it still feels better than being alone on the ground Wah-ooh, shoo-bop, shoo-bop... Already it's been going on for way too long a time If I take any more of this I know I'll lose my mind Because you've got me on an Emotional Rollercoaster You lift me up, you bring me down And all it takes is one kind word to turn my heart around But it still feels better than being alone on the ground Life with you can be a fun house But other times it frightens me I never know just what is coming next My Coney Island fantasy But I'm hoping there will be a change one day very soon And we'll sail into the tunnel of love beneath a crescent moon But right now you've got me... (repeat first chorus)
3.
I remember fondly the days when we first met You were shy and awkward, afraid of life and yet You were enchanting and so cute Your innocence was charming as was your naivete But now it seems you've learned the ropes and much to my dismay You have become much more astute And I'm afraid I've made a big mistake By giving you the confidence to get you on your feet Now you are so self-assured it borders on conceit Oh it seems I've made a monster out of you You were terrified of people when I knew you long ago You'd never go to parties, you'd rather stay at home And be with just the two of us But still I tried to push you to come out of your shell I didn't ask you to forget me, darling, but I might as well Have said to leave me in your dust And I'm afraid I've made a big mistake By teaching you the social skills you previously lacked Now your popularity's an undisputed fact Oh it seems I've made a monster out of you Oh why did I encourage your individuality? You were perfectly content to live in co-dependency You used to lean on me for strength I gladly gave you my support But now you've fallen out of love And all my dreams have fallen short I thought perhaps together we both would be secure But now I am the frightened one and you're not even sure That you still want to be with me Now you can't stop your flirting almost everywhere we go All the men are fawning and you just can't say "no" To every handsome face you see And I'm afraid I've made a big mistake By giving you the love that you've so often been denied Now my love is not enough to keep you satisfied Oh it seems I've made a monster out of you
4.
With so many gay men and so little time It never has been an obsession of mine To try and pursue heterosexual men The ones who are real or the ones who pretend That kind of facade's not attractive to me I like my lovers as queer as can be Give me a homosexual Who loves in a homoemotional way I like a man of acceptance Give me a guy who is glad to be gay Now to some of my peers, it's the ultimate thrill Seducing a straight man by bending his will But I am a man who loves men who love men And that is of course what I most recommend While I'm sure there are men who just need some unstraightening I haven't the patience to be educating Give me a homosexual One who's perfected his oral technique I like a man who's had practice Give me a guy who is fluent in Greek And I don't understand all those classified ads Filled with desires that I've never had "Straight-looking Marine seeks straight cop to please..." How straight do they look when they're down on their knees? It's a taste that I've never been able to savor This preoccupation with sexist behavior And people will ask us, "Which one's the girl?" 'Cause they limit themselves to those roles in their world But we don't have any such models to clone We're perfectly free to develop our own Give me a homosexual I don't want a husband, I don't want a wife I like a man who's my equal Someone who's made it the style of his life (repeat first chorus)
5.
He's big and he's proud He's abrasive and loud He can roar like a lion, or be meek as a lamb God knows he's courageous And sometimes outrageous He inspires me to be all that I can But I'll never forget The last time we met How my heart stopped at the story he told He said, "Life can be hard When it deals you a card That you never expected to hold" But then he said, "It's not the end I rely on my friends For all the affection and the love they provide And maybe with hugs And without booze and drugs There is still a good chance that I will survive" And he probably will 'Cause he's active still He goes to the marches and all the parades He's not giving in He's determined to win He's a person who's living with AIDS Living with love, not living in fear Embracing the light when shadows appear It's a place to begin, it's a good way to start Releasing the power we hold in our hearts The loss of our lovers Our sisters and brothers Is a wound that cuts deep through our history of pride And one way to heal All the pain that we feel Is to stand by the living and remain unified So if you've got a friend Whose condition is grim Don't go burying them or drawing the shades Surrender your doubt By reaching out To a person who's living with AIDS Living with love, not living in fear Healing with hope and drawing them near It's a place to begin, it's a step we can take Empowering people whose lives are at stake Living with love, not living in fear Embracing the light when shadows appear It's a place to begin, it's a good way to start Releasing the power we hold in our hearts
6.
I remember dressing up in my mother's clothes She had hordes of high-heeled shoes And plenty of pairs of panty hose She had wigs to make me look a thousand different ways And blouses made of silk of lace and evening gowns for days My mother's clothes, my mother's clothes All my dreams came true in my mother's clothes I remember dressing up in my mother's clothes In the woods behind my house we'd have our fashion shows Secretly we'd gather all the old things she'd dispatch And soon we'd have a wardrobe with accessories to match My mother's clothes, my mother's clothes All my dreams came true in my mother's clothes We could be a princess from a fairy tale Or Florence Nightingale Curing all disease in our mother's clothes We could be Miss Lois Lane Or even Tarzan's Jane Swinging through the trees in our mother's clothes We could be a beauty queen Or Mary Magdalene Sinners we'd forsake in our mother's clothes We could be Petula Clark Or even Joan of Arc Burning at the stake in our mother's clothes Until we learned it's not OK For a boy to dress that way Not allowed to fantasize We become desensitized To all our waking dreams And the endless possibilities Of roles that we can play Now some of us still dress up in our mother's clothes And some of us just like to watch and some look down their nose But we've all got an image that we want to convey And drag is something each of us does every single day
7.
Have you met the woman next door I see her sometimes at the grocery store She never says much, she's rather withdrawn But she always will tell you Yes she always will say that nothing is wrong Have you talked to the woman next door She has a young boy who just turned four And a husband who works in an office downtown She acts kind of nervous Yes she seems afraid when he is around Have you seen the woman next door She looks as if she's been through a war A bruise on her arms and a scar on her face I asked her a question Yes I asked how it happened but she wouldn't say Last night I heard the woman next door Desperate cries that i couldn't ignore She was pleading with him to leave her alone I was trembling with fear as I picked up the phone And I hoped and I prayed that she would survive As I waited on edge for help to arrive And I thought of her son, and I wished that her screams Wouldn't find their way into his innocent dreams Have you met the woman next door She needs compassion and support She's finally safe now, alone with her son But the process of healing Yes the long night of healing has just begun
8.
I'm doing my affirmations I'm chanting my mantra each day and night I'm doing some visualization Seeing my aura just glowing with light And I'm breathing real deep, sitting perfectly still Clearing my mind as I focus my will While listening to music from Windham Hill 'Cause I want to be enlightened Each morning I do meditation I become one with the whole universe I experience self-actualization I'm seeing a rolfer and getting rebirthed And I've given up sugar, red meat and caffeine Wear crystals to keep all my energies clean And of course I subscribe to New Age Magazine 'Cause I want to be enlightened Each Monday I go to a channeler To get some advice from the other side On Tuesdays I get a holistic massage And on Wednesdays I meet with my spiritual guide I'm studying reincarnation Finding out who I have been in the past I'm practicing manifestation In the hopes that I might make some money at last And I throw the I Ching at least once a day Burn incense to keep evil spirits away And I'm planning a trip down to old Santa Fe 'Cause I want to be enlightened Each Thursday I go to a workshop On opening up the unconscious mind On Fridays I see my astrologer And on weekends I go get my chakras aligned I'm giving myself validation I acknowledge myself just for being who I am By giving up all expectation I surrender myself to the great cosmic plan And I'm giving myself permission to win Learning to nurture my child within As I read for the seventh time, Out On A Limb 'Cause I want to be enlightened Don't you want to be enlightened Yes, we all want to be enlightened!
9.
Were you robbing the cradle Or was I robbing the rocking chair? All I know is that I'm grateful And glad that you were there In a world that doesn't see us In a town where time stands still A young boy dreams of loving men In a land of Jack and Jill Well I was so naive back then And you were somewhat jaded But I recall your kindness Though our friendship has since faded Your house became an oasis From a home so unaware Of my need to feel accepted In a world that didn't care Well who else could have told me What my parents could not explain And saved me from self-hatred Confusion, doubt and pain Were you robbing the cradle Or was I robbing the rocking chair? All I know is that I'm grateful And glad that you were there In a time much more uncertain When my song was yet unsung It was you who helped me to grow up While I helped you to stay young And it makes me feel a part of A family of lovers Who survive a life of exile By caring for each other I'm not the first one to suffer And I'm probably not the last But I'm here to change the future 'Cause I can't forget the past Were you robbing the cradle? I'm glad that you were there
10.
It's hard to believe in a land like this That the freedom we think we have does not exist Don't ask me why the cops and the feds Care in the least what we do in our beds 'Cause only an asshole would care What goes into our assholes and who puts it there And only a person who's really repressed Would attempt to decide for the rest Now Michael was entertaining a guest When the officer walked right in and made the arrest Who would have thought that the courts would uphold An archaic law that's a hundred years old But the danger's not what's in our mouths It's the mouthful of bigotry which they espouse Referring to God and the heavens above To legislate how we make love How can anyone disagree With the fundamental right to privacy? Something intrigues them I don't know what Why else would they want to keep track of my butt? Why should anyone have a say As to whom we should and shouldn't lay They think it's sinful I think it sucks Having laws that tell us how we should F... ornicate! We've got to repeal the laws that remain 'Cause what happened in Georgia must not happen again So roll up your sleeves and join in the fight We're not giving in 'til we've gotten our rights 'Cause we're being screwed all the time By laws that make our way of screwing a crime They're calling on years of oppression and shame To justify more of the same Only an asshole would care What goes into our assholes and who puts it there And only a person who's really repressed Would attempt to decide But we can turn back the tide By refusing to hide When they attempt to decide for the rest
11.
We don't have to stop loving each other We don't have to stop loving ourselves There's talk of a quarantine, talk of a plan To stop the love from flowing woman to woman, man to man But that is not the answer to this crisis that we're in We need to pull together for a healing to begin We don't have to stop loving each other We don't have to stop loving ourselves We don't have to sacrifice our passion and our pride We've just got to be on the safe side Now where there's a will there is always a way And where there are people, ten percent will be gay We've always been known for having such creative minds And if we put them all to use I know that we will find That we don't have to stop loving each other We don't have to stop loving ourselves We don't have to sacrifice our passion and our pride We've just got to be on the safe side There are those who want to blame us Point a finger, try and shame us And tell us that the love we feel is wrong But we'll soon enough forget them If we refuse to let them When they try and take away the very thing that makes us strong And we're not gonna stop loving each other We're not gonna stop loving ourselves We're not gonna sacrifice our passion and our pride We're just gonna be on the safe side

about

Includes a PDF of the original CD packaging & liner notes.

credits

released June 1, 1988

Produced by E. Marcy Dicterow-Vaj, Carol Dix, Ron Romanovsky and Paul Phillips
Executive Producers: Ron Romanovsky & Paul Phillips
Engineered and mixed by Kevin "The Kobra” O’Connor
Assistant Engineer: Richard Schweitzer

Orchestrations by E. Marcy Dicterow-Vaj
Vocal Arrangements by Paul Phillips
Art Direction: Ron Romanovsky and Marsha Levine
Photography: Linda Montoya (cover), Irene Young (back cover)

Recorded and mixed February through March, 1988 at Hit City West, Los Angeles, California
Mastered by Wally Traugott at Capitol Records

All songs published by Bodacious Music (ASCAP)

©© 1988 Fresh Fruit Records
369 Montezuma, #209
Santa Fe, NM 87501
505/989-8647


Thanks to: Dick Huitema, Jim Sturtevant and Cindy Bale, Jeri Dansky, Peter Lee, Cathy Lee, Sharon Girdner, Loree Cook-Daniels, Harvey Hertz, Mark and Nancy Phillips, Bob Wempner, Jon Kouba, Seth Munter, Larry Hoover, Lil Cardwell, Craig Anderson, Jeff Menzer and Eric Rosenthal, for your generosity and support; Kevin, for being part of the "process", Pearl, for accepting the role of studio widow with such grace and patience; Judy Fjell, for giving us Marcy's phone number; Barb & Ken Peterson, Eric Rofes and John Bucchino for bed and board; Peter Alvarez, for keeping the fruit fresh; Rich Brown, for your enthusiasm and energy; friends and family in Santa Fe and around the country, for your love and support.

Special thanks to Marcy and Carol for your brilliance and sensitivity, your technical, creative and organizational expertise, and for giving two months of your lives to this album. We love you!

Hugs and kisses to Paul for continuing my musical education and setting such high standards, for being a midwife to most of the songs and a co-parent to the rest, and for picking up the slack so that I could be a songwriter again. I love youl -RR

Thanks to Ron for writing such wonderful songs and for letting me put my two cents in as well. I hope this rollercoaster ride never ends. I love you, too! -PP

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Romanovsky & Phillips Santa Fe, New Mexico

Romanovsky & Phillips were the first “out and proud” American gay male musical duo to
achieve national acclaim. From 1982-1999, an era when gay artists often hid their sexual orientation, this duo performed songs which openly celebrated their lives as gay men.

With tight harmonies and memorable melodies, their sassy and inspired songs uniquely capture the gay experience of those decades.
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